7 Habits of Extremely Happy People (Beginning chapters)

 

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“This book is a free pass to unleashing the child within and recognizing you don’t have to have a reason to smile and giggle.”

 

-- Dr. Madan Kataria MD, Founder and author of “Laughter Yoga”

 

 

“Dr. Gold is the embodiment of spiritual healing…. Her work will help us all live healthier, more love-driven lives.”

 

-- Sharon Brous, TED Talk speaker, author and nationally renowned Rabbi

 

 

“This book is such a gift. It will help you reclaim your joy and find your gratitude. Tanya climbed out of her own dark place and brings with her the flashlight that will help us all seek our own happiness.”

 

-- Dara Resnik, Screenwriter, co-creator of the TV series Home Before Dark

 

 

“Dr. Tanya Gold proves that the saying ‘Laughter is the best medicine’ is so true in this amazing book. Filled with inspiring stories as well as practical steps, it is a must for anyone looking for a better life.”

 

-- Robert Riopel, International Best-Selling author of “Success Left a Clue”

 

 

“Dr. Gold’s exercises are simple to understand, easy to use, and memorable! I was at a women’s retreat and one lady started to get very upset.  We got away in private and she trusted me enough to practice the smiling game (from the book), silly as it was, within minutes, she was laughing, and open, ready to move through her difficult moment.”

 

-- Kathy Schissler, Business & Leadership Coach

 

 

“Her new book is sunny and optimistic, a practical approach to a fun life filled with joy and health… It is a light-hearted though effective pathway that you can move and dance through to a better you.”

 

-- Victor S. Sierpina, MD, Distinguished Professor of Family/Integrative Medicine and author of “The Healthy Gut Workbook,” “Integrative Health Care” and “1000 Cures for 200 Ailments”

 

 

Having taken her own unique path and facing her own distinct obstacles, Dr. Tanya Gold has written a book which arms us with the tools to overcome our own particular challenges to finding joy. “7 Habits of Extremely Happy People” is an excellent read which invites us to take command of our immediate healing, peace and happiness.

 

-- Victor Williams, Actor, costar in “The King of Queens”

Dedication

 

To my Creator, my parents, sissy & Aunt Lorraine, and my beloved Stud Muffin.

To all those who believed in me and taught me to believe in myself.

To Chris who worked endless hours to help get this book marketed and finally get published.

A special note to my hubby, Drew, who told me to “write the damn thing already!”

 

 

Acknowledgment

 

There are many people I wish to thank. I want to acknowledge the editors and publishers for helping me to stay on track and complete this ultramarathon! A special shout out to Kimmie, who drew the beautiful illustrations. She remained patient and kind with me, through several revisions. Kathy, my coach, friend, organizer, editor, and key player, you really helped to turn this blob into a book. I couldn’t have done it without you!

Thanks to my family and friends who kept asking when the book would come out. I realize that without them, this book would just be a great idea in my head where I jotted a few notes down. They gave me the encouragement to start and finish. Writing is a process— one I dreaded in grade school but feel it has improved with practice.

My aunt, Lorraine, and my sister, Marissa, who have endlessly read, rewritten, and reorganized everything I have sent them— thank you from the bottom of my heart. They’re honest with their feedback (brutally honest at times), but encouraging, which I needed. I consider them my best friends. Thank you to the Power Gals (senior powerlifters), my coaches, patients, friends, yoga students, and extended family for giving me these stories to share. Whenever I felt like giving up, I would be reminded, “you’re so close!” and through their love and enthusiasm, be encouraged to keep going. Thank you, mom and dad, for giving me life and teaching me to work hard, never give up, and do the right thing! Thank you, Hashem (G-d), for making me the determined and caring person I am.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, well, it’s no different when writing a book. You need help!

I feel I’ve given birth to these pages, which come from the best in me. Drew… You’re the love of my life, my best friend, and have been there through it all. You’ve seen my worst and still hung around. You were there when I was seriously thinking of throwing this whole book project down the toilet and egged me on, “so do it!” You know me so well that I don’t easily accept defeat, and I like challenges. You supported me during the early mornings I got up to write and had to spend time away from you. I’m so blessed to have you in my life. To all those I told about the book, thank you for cheering me on.

Bella, Prince, my furry cherubs, thank you for your welcomed distraction. I know I spent many hours typing or recording what I wrote, but your loud woeful meows allowed me to take a break, so I could feed you (even though your food bowls were barely empty) and massage your fluffy bellies!

Now to my readers, I appreciate your support and look forward to meeting you one day if I haven’t already. I also appreciate you sharing this precious gift of joy with others.

 

Caution

This book is about having FUN and enjoying life ….. & if you laugh too hard you may pee your pants. ☺ Please note this information does not constitute personal medical advice. If you have medical questions or plan to engage in any physical activity, please consult with your health care provider. One last thing, patient names have been changed for confidentiality.

 

 

Foreword

 

The pursuit of happiness is a common dream. Finding a simple means of achieving this is like winning the Lottery. Dr. Gold’s L.A.U.G.H method is your golden ticket. She offers you a practical approach on how to cultivate joy from within. More than a book, this treasure of information allows you to take your life to the next level— making it even more meaningful and fulfilling.

Life can be hard, and no one will pretend to know or understand what you’re going through, but despite the challenges, you can prevail. The compelling stories shared, including her own, attest to the indomitable will of the human spirit. They help you realize your own potential and that you are not alone. You are here for a reason and you deserve happiness!

 

Act Happy to Be Happy

There’s no need to wait to feel good. The choice is yours! Dr. Gold realizes this is not easy, but she provides you with a simplified step by step approach to get you there. In a loving motherly fashion, she encourages you all along the way to do what you CAN and do your best. You learn that through action almost anything is possible, especially when you never give up. Like a muscle, joy grows with practice, one chuckle at a time. There is also scientific research to back it up. You can fake it, until you make it!

You may have grown up to believe you must be serious as an adult. Not true. The fun games and exercises invite you to become an active participant in the driver seat of your life directing your emotions to serve you. It’s about transformation, giving yourself permission “to let the kid inside come out and play.” You get to decide each moment how you want to feel and personalize your journey to lead an optimal life. This book is your map.

Each precious habit you adopt can help you become more lighthearted, boosting your health, and further strengthening your resiliency to heart-ache and diseases. There is suffering in this world, no doubt, but the antidote is not to suffer more, it’s to sprinkle in cheer. As we brighten this world, starting with ourselves, we get closer to world peace, because it’s hard to hurt someone you love. In addition, we recognize we are all interconnected. Laughter is a conduit in this web, that’s why it’s so contagious and feels marvelous. It’s a necessary ingredient to lead a balanced life and find your bliss. Growing up in a small village in India, I often laughed at the “small things.” After becoming a physician, and moving to a big glitzy city, I became stressed and noticed that I rarely enjoyed anything. Consequently, I found myself feeling sad, isolated and alone, even among all these people. This book reminded me how I transformed myself by applying more laughter in my life. It’s a free pass to unleash the child within and recognize that you don’t require a reason to smile and giggle. You can do it to feel better.

This book is an essential guide, meant to be shared and experienced. It’s your license to a fruitful life that can continue to blossom and get sweeter with time. I hope this book uplifts you, like it did for me!

Keep laughing! Ha, ha! Dr. Kataria 😊

Founder of Laughter Yoga

 

 

My Story

 

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. I had it all planned out. Married at 25, kids at 30, successful job at 35, retire early after I make millions of dollars and become quite famous, and live happily ever after. Well… it didn’t quite work out that way. How about this, instead:

1.     I got married at 30 (no worries just five years past my plan)

2.     I am almost 50 and still no kids… hmmm (I figure I can still adopt or continue to borrow them from my big family!)

3.     Working long hours in medical school, residency, and in a traditional medical practice— I got burned out.

4.     I became very sick in my 20’s and 30’s with Lyme’s disease, severe arthritis, and uveitis (a severe eye condition that could lead to blindness). Bummer, definitely not in my game plan— is it ever?

5.      I lost several jobs (which kinda sucked too) and was told ''you can’t be sick! You’re a doctor.'' Agree, now tell that to the man upstairs.

6.     Far from my millions, fame, and retirement, I was almost bankrupt in my 40’s. Not really the Cinderella story I was looking for. “Life doesn’t always work out the way you want.” Most of the time, it doesn’t. So, whaddya going to do, give up, roll over and play dead or get up and fight?

This book is about reclaiming back your life. Even in the darkest of circumstances, there is a flicker of hope. You can learn effective ways to bring more joy into your life— live more passionately and get excited. This is not a fantasy as we will model real people who are doing it— learning their habits and practicing with fun games and exercises.

This book is a roadmap, not leading you to a fairy tale, but helping you find your optimal life. It varies for each person. That’s why it’s so important to not just gloss through the activities, but take them seriously and DO them!!

 This book is not for the faint of heart. It’s for those willing to make real changes in their lives— willing to DO things to make their lives better. I won’t say it’ll be easy, but it will be well worth it!

 

Turning a corner

Even in the darkest of circumstances, there is light... and hope. That’s what Gaby Giffords found. Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches (or the shots!). This Arizona congresswoman’s life changed drastically after she became target practice for a madman. He shot her in the head along with 18 others at a peaceful rally ‘for the people.’ Miraculously she lived! Surprisingly, despite all that Gaby’s been through, she’s not bitter. Even with a speech impediment and a troubling gait, among other things, she feels blessed to still be alive. No one could blame her for being angry, but according to her husband, in her book, ‘Gaby,’ she still manages to jump out of bed excited and ready to make this world a better place. She focuses on her mission.

“I’m still here, and I’ve got much work to do.” Her strength, enthusiasm, and courage inspire me to value what’s truly important in my life: G-d, my wonderful husband, my family & friends, my patients, my yoga students, and yes, my adorable kitties (they are my babies!). What’s important in your life?

Visualize Your Optimal Life

Stand up or sit up straight (if possible)

Take at least 3 deep breaths & Smile

Visualize Your DREAM Life (What are you passionate about? What inspires you? What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with? Are you travelling? Be there. See what you see. Hear what you hear. Feel it. Notice any scents. Don’t hold back and know that almost anything is possible!)

Now jot down or record what you saw. Why is this important to you?

(Are you doing it now, or just reading on? Stop now and do this, if you want to kick-start the changes you wish to see in your life.)

Are you living your life to its fullest?

You must know what you want so you can get there. Unless what are you aiming for? It’s like trying to book a flight, unsure of your destination. Pick something. You can always change it later. For myself, my passion is getting people WELL long term (living strong, happy, vibrant lives). It’s an honor to serve them. However, I realize I can’t do that if I don’t take care of myself.

As you can imagine, when my fairy tale life did not turn out as planned (far from it), I became disillusioned. I got frustrated, angry and sad. What do I do now? I felt lost and confused. The stress added up and then I got sick. Very sick — diagnosed with uveitis, which threatened my vision (making it blurry). It turned my eye beet red and made it feel as if a dagger was poking through— burning and throbbing as if I had a black eye. I became so sensitive to light. I had to wear sunglasses, even indoors. Some classmates poked fun at me, asking me why I was trying to act cool.

Years later, I suffered from severe arthritis in my neck. My doctors wanted to operate. I didn’t. I knew there had to be a different way. My doctors did their best, but the pain meds they prescribed left me drowsy and made it difficult to concentrate and work. I also gained enormous amounts of weight from the steroids, to the point my patients were congratulating me. “So how far along are you?”

After my pants tore, I knew that something had to change: ME.

Centering on being miserable was not fun. I had enough. With so much practice, I was getting good at feeling lousy.

 

I’M DONE!

As the Bible states, “You are what you think” (Proverbs 23:7). In other words, “where focus goes, energy flows!” (Tony Robbins). One wise yogi stated, “When you worry, you pray for what you don’t want.” I didn’t want to be sad anymore, yet I didn’t know HOW to get happy, how to bring more joy into my life when I felt so bad.

Then I remembered Norman Cousins, author of “Anatomy of an Illness” who relieved his excruciatingly painful symptoms of ankylosing spondylitis with laughter and vitamin C.

Laugher? How interesting! It was worth a shot. I had nothing to lose and much to gain. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I wanted to laugh.

Besides funny movies (which Norman Cousins used in order to stimulate his laughter), I wanted to explore other options to make me happy as I couldn’t always say “hey boss I am taking a 2-hour break to watch this movie.” I realize now that no one can make you happy. This is something you do for yourself. What are you going to do when you don’t know something? Google it, of course! I looked up simple ways to cackle and came across Laughter Yoga. I even found you could chuckle with others on the phone in something called “The Laugher Hotline.”

 

Who ya gonna call?

No, not ghostbusters! The Laughter Hotline is a free call that anyone can dial into to laugh with others. They also have a skype version (skype laughter club). No joke. I was shy to call, at first, because I thought my laugh wasn’t good enough and embarrassed because I snort (yes, I had low self— esteem issues too), I finally just called in. I found the laughter infectious, and it became genuine after a period of time. Once I giggled (even on command), I began to feel a release; a lightness take over me. With just one session under my belt, I felt noticeably better. No pain meds thus far provided me with such relief both mentally and physically. It relaxed my neck and the rest of my body and brought in hope. Towards the end of the call, the leader had us take a few deep breaths and then asked us to share what we were grateful for. As I rehearse this fun exercise almost daily, it’s easy to turn on. Just as lifting weights strengthens muscles, so do our laughter muscles build cheer within us, giggle by giggle.

Receiving so much benefit, I knew I wanted to share this incredible gift with others. That’s why I became certified in Laughter Yoga and a laughter leader through The World Laughter Tour (seriously, you can look it up laughteryoga.org and worldlaughtertour.com).

 

The Gift

Now, over ten years later, I am happy to say, NO PAIN and NO SURGERY. My bouts of uveitis have also diminished. I am blessed, and it may sound strange to say this, but I am glad it happened. It taught me to appreciate my health and not take it for granted; because I did. Prior to this, I had good health, would rarely fall ill (even with a cold), and I never missed a day of school (not even in medical school).

But I realize all this is NOT just luck. I work hard at taking care of myself and staying the course of managing my thoughts. I now work for myself, having become the proud owner of a growing integrative medical practice, “Dr. Gold’s Optimal Living Institute.” I get to spend time with my patients, providing them with compassionate care, listening to their concerns, and working earnestly to get them well long term. I can empathize, having been quite sad and sick myself.

Many new people I meet are surprised to learn that I used to be this way (because now I’m usually chipper and have often received the nickname “Dr. Smiley and Dr. Sunshine.”)

“You mean you’re NOT naturally jolly?” they ask. No. Far from it. I was not born with a sunny disposition. Until I found laughter, I was quite cynical and looked for the worst-case scenario.

These thoughts resonated with me when I was on a beautiful beach with my nephew at sunset. The sky glowed. Nice breeze, as the warm sea enveloped our bodies. The serene blue waves lapped the seashore in a flawless sequence. Everything appeared perfect, yet my nephew continued to harp on the small seaweed he found “quite gross” floating in the water. I finally told him to look up. Once he did, his face lit up like it was Christmas. The bright sun, amidst a dazzling array of colors, had us mesmerized. This new perspective changed his outlook, just as addressing my illnesses with laughter had changed mine.

Like my nephew, I needed to remind myself to “Look Up” and recognize who I am. My true self wants to be happy. That imposter who brings me down (for long periods) is not me. It’s some sort of a virus in thinking I received way back when. It may have served a purpose, like an IBM mainframe computer from the 1950s— what was perhaps useful then is now obsolete. But unless we examine what no longer serves us, we can get stuck.

Today, I smile and laugh often, so I CAN feel joy, and it does come much easier now. My hope is the same for you… that by reading this book, you will learn effective tools to put into practice and gain momentum to lead a happy and fulfilling life.

Paperback Table of Contents

 

Dedication

Acknowledgment

Foreword

My Story

Introduction

Habit #1— Live with Purpose

The Science of Laughter

Habit #2— Act

Getting Started

Habit #3— Ugly

The “Undercover Ugly”

Habits #4 Give

Habit #5— Growth

Habit #6— Gratitude

Habit #7— Health

Truopia: The Future